Lovely Mine
by RikaMae365
Summary: How can I possibly describe our relationship? Responsible, Professional... Wait, when you say Relationship, do you mean...? Oh my... N-no! Not at all! All that Kanda could ever be to me is... my Fiancé? Join Lenalee as she rememebers an important part of her past. One-Shot, part of "So We Flow with the Wind" but can be read separately. (Yeah, plot fluff. Enjoy!)


**This One-Shot is actually part of another story called 'So We Flow with the Wind', but can be read separately. This is probably the first time I've ever paired Lenalee with Kanda, so excuse me if this seems a little OCC. I hope you enjoy!**

**~Lovely Mine~**

I walked through the halls of the Order with a shaky breath, still disturbed by the words that An had said to me just that morning. It was cruel to say that Allen was not real, that he was just a legend that me and my fellow exorcists just came up with out of the blue for entertainment purposes. I shook my head as I thought about this eventful morning that we shared. It just wasn't right.

A few rookie exorcists turned around the corner, and instantly my features lightened up. They all smiled and waved at me with genuine care, and I returned the gestures with greater emotion. I wasn't trying to one-up them or over show them, I just cared that much. It was just how it was, because I was the 'Mother of the Order', after all.

"Lenalee!" I blinked as a familiar blonde exorcist ran up to my side, a bright smile playing across her lips. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Monica!" I smiled as I immediately locked arms with the younger exorcist next to me. I held the smile to try to defer any negative thoughts playing through her mind. I believed she was present for the horrifying scene that played out that morning as well. "I'm fine, I'm fine. What has gotten into you?"

Monica gave a light laugh as she leaned her head on my shoulder. "I don't like seeing you sad, so I came to sprinkle sunshine on your day!" Monica straightened herself and walked alongside me, her arm still interlocked with mine. "Don't worry about An. She doesn't understand how important Allen was to you," A mischievous look appeared on her face as she wiggled her eyebrows. "And he was important to you, wasn't he Lenalee," My face began to burn at Monica's words. I merely stuck up my nose and refused to respond. Monica laughed again. "I'm sorry, you're so easy for me to mess with!"

"Well, you shouldn't '_mess'_ with me," I muttered as I stuck out my tongue. I tried my best to emphasis the word so that she would understand my point, but I don't think she quite caught it.

"I must admire you, though. I would've moved right on to the next boy!" Monica cried as she pumped her fist into the air. I giggled as I shook my head.

"I don't think I fall in love as quickly as you do, Monica,"

"Oh, is that so?" Monica inquired with an elevated eyebrow. "It would seem that you do. What's your relationship with Kanda, then?"

"Kanda?" I muttered nonchalantly as my mind drifted off the topic at hand. In my mind I imagined how wonderful it would have been for Lavi to have found Allen where Alicia had recalled spotting him; how happy I would have been just to see his face and know that he was real; or how ecstatic I would have been to actually understand his reasons. I spoke without much thought put into my words. "How can I possibly describe our relationship? Responsible, Professional..." My voice trailed off as my mind began to return to the conversation. I blinked as I recalled speaking about personal relationships, and turned my attention back to Monica. "Wait, when you say Relationship, do you mean...?" Monica nodded her head; her eyes wide as if her sarcasm couldn't have been understood clear enough. My face began to heat up. "Oh my... N-no! Not at all!" I shook my head I my pace picked up and I began to drag Monica towards the next corner. "All that Kanda could ever be to me is... my Fiancé?"

The combination of my answer and the intense tugging that Monica was feeling caused her to shoot away from me as I made to turn the corner. As it would seem, I turned the corner and ran into a wall… Okay, it wasn't a wall, but it sure hurt as if I ran into one. I rubbed the tip of my nose as I looked up to find dark orbs staring down at me. Though most would dread running into these pair of eyes, I found myself delighted. "Kanda! Sorry to run into you like this…"

"Hn," he muttered as he walked past me. Monica stared at me with wide eyes as I attempted to regain my composer. With a nervous laugh I waved to Monica and quickly followed Kanda instinctively, almost as if I were a lost puppy. It was a normal reaction of mine, when something bothered me, to follow one of my closet friends. Usually they wouldn't notice my clingy nature, but I guess I bothered Kanda. "Why are you following me?"

I blinked and froze in my step, though Kanda continued walking down the hall. I tapped my toe against the ground sheepishly for a moment before I ran to catch up to him. "Because… you're going to train, right?"

"Hn," Kanda muttered. I nodded my head, taking his answer as an obvious yes.

"Who are you going to train with, a gnome? A ghost?"

"Hn," Kanda grunted. I nodded my head in agreement, understanding his 'no' quite clearly.

"You know, Kanda, if you're going to train… it has to be with me. Order's from Central, Crystaline form must train together-"

"Joy,"

"Hey!" I cried at his sarcasm, stomping my foot against the ground. He raised an eyebrow at me at that moment, and I couldn't help but laugh at him. I knew he was only joking, in the only way that Kanda could joke. He still wasn't used to my overreacting, though. You'd think he would be with all the years we've spent together. After this course of conversation, I had the privilege to walk next to Kanda instead of behind him. These were the times with him that I enjoyed the most. What most people didn't know; if there was anyone else in the world that I could be stuck with, I think it would shock most people to hear me say the name 'Yu Kanda'.

As we made our way towards our preferred training area, a familiar song appeared in my head. A song that didn't mean too much to me before, but now made me smile whenever I heard it. I cleared my throat quietly at that moment, preparing myself to sing the song in the language that I had first heard it, seven years ago…

_**/O\**_

"_On the summer shore, where the breakers roar,_

_Lovers sat on the glist'ing sand,_

_And they talked of love, while the moon above,_

_And the stars seemed to understand_

_Then she grew more cold, and he grew more bold,_

_Till she knew that they had better go,_

_But altho' he heard, he not even stirred,_

_Only murmured in tones soft and low:_

_Cuddle up a little closer, lovely mine,_

_Cuddle up and be my little clinging vine._

_Like to feel your cheek so rosy, like to make you comfy cozy,_

'_cause I love you from head to toesy, lovely mine,"_

"_Harass! Will you quiet down? Jeez, gets in a few drinks and he starts singing the place into depression! Change up your tune, man! _I'm sorry, Mademoiselle, what can I get for you this evening?"

My fingers twitched as I became the center of another's attention. It felt eerily quiet with the absence of the French voice ringing in my ears. Strange it was to hear this song sung in that particular language. It was difficult to translate with only back-hand knowledge of the Language, but I was sure that the man singing wasn't exactly an authority on the language either.

How long had I sat in the strange little bar on, what was considered to be, the bad side of this French town? It could have been hours, even days, but the actual assumption must be around a few minutes. I lifted my eyes to stare at dazzling blue eyes framed by bright blonde hair. He was definitely not the type of person I would expect to see running a bar. I took the time to study the rest of him: He wore a white shirt that was more stained than the apron he wore around his waist, but other than that he seemed to be overall fit and reliable. Upon his chest shone a bright gold tag. Letters formed the name 'Raoul' on the golden nameplate. A crooked smirk played across his lips as he studied me right back. I guess he seemed fit for this job after all. To avoid being rude to this strange man, I smiled politely.

"No, thank you. I'm not one for alcohol," I admitted as I lowered my head again. I could tell that his gaze never left me, and he lingered near me as he seemed to reposition himself into a leaning position on the bar.

"I thought as such," Said Raoul as he eyed me in an almost playfully skeptical way. "What is a beautiful young lady like you doing in a rusty old bar _alone_?"

I felt my cheeks heat up. "Well," I murmured as I hesitatively slipped a lock of my hair behind my ear. "I was just passing by, and-"

"Uh huh," Raoul smirked at my fumbling speech. He leaned close to me, and I felt his hot breath against my ear. "When one enters a bar with absence of the intent to drink, they usually are searching for a companion-"

I slammed my hand against the counter. "I'll have the strongest drink you've got!" Raoul was taken aback slightly by my abrupt reaction. He stared me in the eye for a moment before erupting in laughter. My face once again became flushed as he left to prepare my drink. With my elbows on the counter, I leaned my head into my hands. Already I felt the intense pain that would come when I received that drink. In fact it would be doubled, for my mind raced spastically for answers. My life was in chaos, and I had not the slightest idea why.

"Are you troubled?" Raoul's voices drifted soothingly to my ears. My eyes rose to meet those bright blue eyes before me. I straightened my posture as I gazed curiously to his face to see his eyes grow soft and his lips form a thin line. "I forgot about the need to reconcile over traumatizing experiences,"

He was absolutely right. Could I be read like a book? I felt my pulse quicken. My skin grew cold, yet I broke into a sweat with the memories washing over me. "Y-your vocabulary is astounding," I smiled as my hands found the glass that was placed before me. I felt the need to drink whatever tart liquid it held, to distract my mind from my memories. I had every intention of doing so with this man in front of me. "Your English is amazing, but I guess it's nice to know many languages when people of every nationality walk through these doors,"

Raoul chuckled as he once again leaned against the counter. "Well, honestly, I'm sure glad you know English. My Chinese is really… horrible. I would probably tell you to _'get the fuck out'_ before I asked '_what would you like?_' And my English is American based, because I'm a bast- I mean, I'm a son of an American woman who was tricked into coming to France with my father's brother; who soon took her most valuable possessions and left her in the gutters. I think I came out all right though. I learned French in the schools, English from my mother, German from my old pal Harass over there, and bits and pieces of Italian and Spanish. It's all part of the experience, I guess. The more interesting people you meet, the more you learn. How many languages do you know?"

I was not sure how to interpret Raoul at that moment. He was entirely intelligent, and I was trapped within my curiosity. But his smile faltered me. I don't know what it was about that smile, but it made my chest hurt. A smile so sweet and genuine I found myself speechless. What pulled me out of my trance was the scent of alcohol reaching my nose. I slowly raised the liquor to my lips and drank it. It burned all the way down my throat, numbing me in the process. It was then that I found the courage to answer him.

"I know English fluently. I'm not entirely fluent in any other language. I don't even remember Chinese, my native language,"

"Really? But, look at your uniform!" Raoul cried out incredulously. I followed his stare to see my red-trimmed exorcist uniform. It seemed that I had not even bothered to change before coming here. "I suspected that those who are important enough to have such elegant uniforms are at least be bilingual,"

I laughed as I brought my drink to my mouth again, letting it warm my throat as it made its way to my stomach. "Not really. You'd be surprised how many people are learning English lately. Besides, I'm just the footwork, a lackey, a tiny pawn unaware of the big picture. I have no need to be entirely informed," My voice quivered as I felt something warm trace the edge of my cheek. I lifted my hand to find the source of the phenomenon only to feel something soft to the touch. I gazed back into Raoul's eyes as he enclosed my hand around his handkerchief. I felt my cheeks flush. What had happened? I had not meant to consult with this man. I did not mean to…

"Keep this. I'll get you another drink. If you can't make it home tonight, you can stay in the room to your right. Free of charge. I'll get you a key when you feel ready,"

I did not understand his kindness. If anything, I should have handled this as a trap set up by an Akuma, but Raoul gave me that smile. I knew that smile well. Genuine feelings, warm-hearted compassion and more radiated from Raoul when I received that smile. Not a single time had that smile ever failed me in the past. I gave a weak smile to Raoul. "Thank you," I muttered as I brought the light blue handkerchief to my eyes. It was heavenly soft against my cheeks. As I dried my tears, the sound of flowing liquids reached my ears. Raoul pushed a glass towards me with a smile.

"No problem. May I ask your name?"

I reached for the glass with a light nod. "My name is Lenalee,"

Raoul's eyes began to glisten as he watched me bring the glass to my lips. "That's a beautiful name, Mademoiselle Lenalee. One fit for a princess," I turned up the glass to avoid eye contact with the man in front of me. I didn't want him to see the blush that radiated across my face at his comment, and I drank until I couldn't feel anymore.

Harass, ignoring Raoul's previous order to cease singing, began to sing all over again. He chose a livelier song this time, and the bar was filled almost instantly with voices joined in song. I couldn't understand the song well at first; that is, until I fully translated it. After that, I sang just as lively as the rest of the bar. And Raoul kept me company. It almost seemed as if he were shooing away every man that came close to me, but in the end it made me feel safe. My body began to feel numb. So numb, in fact, that I couldn't feel the next glass that was pushed in front of me. I merely shoved it away weakly, which caused Raoul to chuckle as he took it away. It was strange how, right after Raoul left my side, someone finally occupied the seat next to me.

"Does every pretty girl like to sing in bars with riffraff, or is it just you?" A gruff voice whispered in my ear. I made an unattractive snorting noise as I sneered at the man next to me. I couldn't see his face, only a black cloak that completely covered his features. It never crossed my mind as I stared at this man that I was being targeted by an Akuma, which is what I wouldn't thought if I wasn't completely hammered. A chuckle originated from the man. "You even look drunk. I guess you don't _always_ do this,"

"You can't judge me," I muttered as I turned back to the counter. My eyes began eagerly searching for Raoul. Where was he when I actually felt bothered? My nervousness was growing with each passing second and he wasn't in sight.

"True… Why are you here, then? Thing's get bad, so you drench yourself in alcohol?" I nearly growled at the inconsiderate man next to me. Was it entirely a bad thing to have one night of drinking, while already having a place to stay and a friend to help me? Was it too much to ask for after countless traumas have consecutively happened in such a short period of time? This was the logical thought process that went through my mind, but that wasn't exactly what I said…

"Fuck off, Jackass. As far as I'm concerned, I deserve this. What would you do if everyone you loved just disappeared?"

There was utter silence after that. As it turns out, I was speaking louder than I had initially intended it to. I had not cared at that moment, mostly because the man was taken aback enough for my satisfaction. But my actions definitely caught Raoul's attention. He appeared in front of me, an apologetic look upon his face. "I'm... I'm terribly sorry, sir. I'm going to have to ask you to-"

"Heh, what's your story, princess?" The man snapped as he raised his hand to silence Raoul. "Enlighten me, for I find myself confused,"

"Please, sir-"

A growl emitted from my lips. How _dare_ this man use the same word that Raoul so kindly called me before as an insult? This man was bringing out the worst in me, and my evil look caused Raoul to take a step back. "I don't have to explain myself to you. I said all that I need to," I laid my head on the cool counter after that statement. It felt cool on my warm face, which a moment before had felt as if it were burning. I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder, and I looked up into Raoul's brilliant blue eyes.

"Mademoiselle Lenalee, are you feeling tiresome?" Every inch of my body screamed for sleep at that moment. My common sense cried 'yes!' repeatedly in my head. Oh, how badly I wanted to receive his keys and sleep, to get away from this avoidable mess that was in front of me. Yet my alcohol intoxicated body disagreed with me, and I found myself shaking my head as I straightened my poster. I rubbed my eyes sleepily as I noticed the man next to me chuckling. I glared at him, but I don't think it reached the amount of hatred I wanted.

"A girl as young as you has no idea what love it," That statement caused me to rise to my feet, pure anger flashing in my foggy eyes. Raoul reached out his hand to steady me, but I refused his kind gesture and push him away from me.

"Doesn't know what love is? Doesn't know, huh? Tell that to my family of hundreds, whom I know all by name and care for more than myself. Hah! Doesn't know what love is… Love is the beauty of knowing there is always someone there for you, and knowing that they have the same trust and feelings for you. Love is giving up everything in the pursuit of an equal dream. Love is the bond I held close to my lover, and the feelings we shared for the family that we should have had!" I stomped my foot on the weak wooden floor, causing a crack to form where I stood. Words could not express the amount of shock that was seen on the faces of the bystanders. I ran the back of my hand against my eyes, erasing any trace of tears that may have appeared.

Yes, I was talking about Allen. It's painful to recall what happened, other than the fact that Allen just... left. I returned from my leave to the Asian branch to find out that he had left the Order, and was currently being searched for. He was ranked as dangerous: a threat to the Order. I couldn't believe it.

That was the start of what my fellow exorcist called 'The year of silence'. I was unresponsive for everything that did not involve my missions. They were the only thing that I looked forward to anymore. I told myself that Allen hadn't betrayed us, that he was still fighting against the Akuma as we were. That's what kept me going; it was the _only_ thing that kept me going. When I wasn't on a mission I was bed written. The thing that I remembered the most was the tears. I couldn't shake the aching feeling that it was my fault. Could it have been that I was the reason that Allen Walker disappeared from the Order?

Of course, it wasn't exactly a year of silence, and I wasn't completely unresponsive. I was slowly regaining my place in Society with the coming of six more exorcists in a two month time span. They had all traveled to the Order on their own accord in one way or another, and I was constantly approached by the young exorcists. Somehow, they could easily make me smile. I wouldn't regain my voice until the third exorcists appeared. Many in the Order were disturbed by our new half Akuma, half human companions, and it would be my luck that the new exorcists were frightened the most.

It was then that I spoke. 'Whether it is right or wrong to have them by our side, we will still fight for the sake of humanity,' Many cried upon hearing my voice. It happened on the eighth month of my silence, and it was then that the title 'Mother of the Order' was bestowed upon me. A cruel, ironic title, but that was not their fault in the least bit. Normality had finally spread throughout the halls of the Black Order. I had not forgotten Allen or the experiences I shared with him, but I knew I had to do what he always said. I would never stop walking. I sniffed as I brushed my hand across my cheeks again.

"And… and I find myself over that," I lied as I slowly slid back into my chair. As I sat down, my tears fell freely from my eyes. I found Raoul's handkerchief and attempted to cease the flow of tears.

The man next to me remained silent for a moment. He leaned forward; his voice evened out and cooled finally. "What has happened to you?"

At first I was under the impression that he was mocking me. But I gazed at the figure from the corner of my eye and found myself bothered. The man rested on the edge of his seat, his foot was shaking extensively and his fingers were twitching in anticipation. It was at that moment when it all dawned on me. The one who I was morning my loss of; who he was to me and how special it made me feel. I hid my eyes in Raoul's token for a moment before a small smile worked its way on my face. "He was special to me. We were so alike in the ways that we were different. I have many family members and many friends, but I would consider him my best friend. Always cool, always interesting speaking with…" I shook my head absentmindedly. '_Oh, Kanda… why did you leave me too?_' I thought with a sniffle. I eyed the man next to me. I wished so badly that he would remove that cloak, so that I may view who I was consulting in. I gave up too easily, feeling myself becoming lightheaded. I shook my head once again before I looked up to Raoul. He seemed entranced in my words, and it caused a small smile to appear on my face as I turned to the cloaked man once again. "Why are you so interested in me? What did I do to you that -Hic!- caused you to become caught up with me?" The cloaked figure leaned back and straightened his posture. He placed his arm on the bar and leaned on it for a moment, probably lost in his own thoughts. '_This man is strange_,' I thought as I rested my elbow on the counter and leaned my head into my hand. The alcohol's numbing was starting to affect my speech at this point, and luckily my mind was agreeing with my body and was finally calling for sleep. I sighed quietly before turning my attention back to Raoul. "I think 'd like t' call it a nigh-"

"I've searched the far corners of the earth. I've dug inside trash, spied on groups, followed very suspicious leads for three long months, all to find just one person. You ask me why I am so critical of you, Lenalee Lee?" I gasped as I turned to the man next to me with wide eyes. How did he know my name? Who was this man? I began shaking as I stared at him, unsure of what this man was getting to. He chuckled lightly before he spoke. "Because… I figured I had the right to know why the person I've been looking for, the Strong, Independent woman that I've known for many years, is sitting at the counter of a fucking bar!"

My eyes grew wide as a sense of recognition washed over me. That voice… that angry, annoyed voice. I knew that voice, and it made my heart sputter erratically. I stared at him with wide eyes. Disbelieve washed over me. I reached out my shaking hand, but hesitated. I almost believed that if I touched him he would simply disappear. Yet my hand continued to outstretch, to reach for the figure next to me. I finally felt the fabric of his cloak, and with a quick, sudden movement, I revealed the face of the man next to me. Before I could react to what I saw, he gripped my wrist and pulled me to him in a tight embrace. I dug my fingers into the fabric of his rigid black cloak. Tears overcame me as I relaxed into his embrace. "K-Kanda! I-I-I… I thought you were dead -hic! I thought ya'd never come back-"

"Just shut up and Cry," Kanda ordered, and I immediately obeyed. I held on to him as if he would disappear at any moment. Kanda had returned into my life…

It was strange to hear a crowd cheering behind us, and I immediate became tense and clung to Kanda in an almost desperate manner at the sound of it. I took a peek to Raoul to see that he was taking part in the startling action with a large grin across his face. I felt embarrassed and betrayed by the man across the counter from me, and tried to hide my face into Kanda's chest. Raoul attracted my attention once again as he presented to me the keys to my room. With a light blush and a small nod I accepted the keys and tugged at Kanda's sleeve. "C-Come on, Kanda," I slurred as he followed my tugs. From the corner of my eye I saw that Kanda had popped a vein, and was on the verge of exploding at that moment. I tried to pull him away, only to lose my balance and nearly fall. Kanda reacted swiftly and steadied me on my feet, once again receiving another cheer from the drunken men that surrounded us. I had already made it to the door and stumbled it open when Kanda finally lost it.

"Shut up! All of you can go to-"

"Kanda, get yer ass in here. Now!" Somehow the sound of my voice caused Kanda to magically teleport into the room. Or maybe that was just the way my intoxicated brain processed it. He was fast. Before I could close the door, I heard one voice very distinctly call out…

"Getting laid tonight!"

The door was closed. My face was burning hot. Through the wall I could already hear Raoul attempting to calm down his customers. In fact, I believed I heard him announce the bar as closed for the night. Through my intoxicated actions and my flustered mind after what I had heard before closing the door, I found it extremely difficult to lock the door. The key could not go into the lock hole. I became frustrated as I grabbed onto the shaking image of the lock in a desperate attempt to keep it still. On my fifth attempt to insert the key into the lock, I felt a warm hand enclose on mine, and guide my hand to the lock. I looked up to the owner of the hand, and stared into his eyes as we turned the key until we heard the distinct click of the lock.

We stood there for a moment, staring into each other's eyes, his hand covering mine. I took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. This caused him to scrunch up his nose. "You smell like beer…" he muttered as he placed his other hand on my shoulder and began to guide me away from the door. "What were you thinking? You've never drank a day of your life, and you walk into a bar?"

"I felt… bothered," I admitted as I was guided to sit down on a soft surface. Kanda left my side for a moment to light a candle that rested on the adjacent table. It was then that I noticed that I was sitting on a large bed. I let my hand glide across the smooth fabric of the blanket that rested on it, and slowly blinked as I watched Kanda sit next to me. With a sigh he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and allowing his head to hang low. I hiccupped on accident, and blushed as I turned away from him. "I realize now that it was a bad ider… I didn't want this to be the way ya saw me when… if ya ever came back,"

Kanda looked at me from the corner of his eye. He leaned up and stared directly at me. "What made you think I wouldn't come back?" he muttered at me accusingly. I wondered if he was offended, if I had somehow touched a nerve or implied that he abandoned us. I shook my head softly.

"I just… imagined that ya were finally free, Kanda. Ya were trapped at the Order, there against yer will. Treated the same way I was. Oh, I'm sowwy, Johnny had told me about ya and Alma… Is he…?"

There was a blank, solemn look in his eye at that moment. "That is for me to know, Lenalee,"

A strange shiver went down my back when he said my name. I didn't have the mindset to try to hide it as a chill or draft, so it wasn't too strange for Kanda to raise an eyebrow to me in question. I guess I didn't care too much at the time, because in reply I leaned my head against his shoulder and inhaled his scent. He was tense at first, but soon relaxed and allowed me to continue breathing him in. Now I know that he would never relax like he did in public, and may have been soft on me this night because I was compromised. I slowly opened my eyes and stared at the wall in front of us. My mind couldn't stay on a straight path, so when I found that I couldn't find a subject to speak on, I found myself too afraid to speak at all. Luckily for me, Kanda would do most of the talking.

"I wondered a long time what you've thought of me. I guess best friend is suiting… you are two years younger than I am; or as my physical appearance determines me as. We have both been trapped at the Order at one time. But you've grown over that, Lenalee. You soon became accustom to the Black Order, as if it were your own home. I guess most would call you inspirational,"

"Yer're not serious, Kanda!" I cried out to him, though I felt my eyes become heavier as sleep dared to overcome me. "Don't say I inspired you; I don't deserve credit for anything, I've never done anything of importance!"

"You saved my life, Lenalee," I stared up to Kanda at that moment. His eyes were shining with the glare of the candlelight, and in those shining eyes I saw admiration. My face flushed, and I bit my lip. Had I saved his life? I shook my head quickly and laid my head on Kanda's lap. I felt his fingers run through my short locks of hair, not at all helping the burning sensation across my cheeks. "I don't know how you made it to America, but you were there. I was lost in my furry, my anger, remorse, revenge; I was trying to kill the first person who tried to reach out to me. But then something strange happened," Kanda looked down to me. "I assume you saw it too,"

I slowly nodded my head, immediately remembering the scene from that faithful day. "A woman," I pronounce the word very carefully so that I would not slur it. I lowered my eye lids at that moment. The alcohol was settling into my system. I found myself drifting in and out of consciousness. It was like I was dreaming in reality. And I remembered that day.

Picture this: An ominous cloud rising in the middle of the sky. In the middle of a storm of innocence, our own comrades were shifting, forming unnatural creatures in front of our very eyes. Panic raged across the field of blood as the liquid of life fell from the innocent. I was truly scared at the sight of this ravage beast. I did the only thing that I knew, the only action that I had known. I attacked the one I called my ally. But before the attack fell, before I spilled the mixed blood of my ally, I was blocked by an unseen shield. I was forced back, and before I could retaliate, a pillar of white eclipsed my vision.

It was the Ark. Its gate number: Unknown. I was terrified at what this meant. I should have walked away, should have had someone investigate just as any other sensible exorcist would, if it weren't for the appearance of a golden orb flying past my vision. This figure moved its golden tail, egging me to enter the gate with it. Visions of old memories flashed by my eyes. With a heavy heart I moved forward, following the golden golem into the Ark. I heard my colleges cry out to me, begging for me to withdraw. My colleges, the new exorcist, did not understand the significance of this giant wall of white, and feared for my safety.

They were right for doing so.

I entered and exited the Ark to find myself in the midst of clashing metal. A demon flew through the air, and my comrade, Kanda, was hot in pursuit. I cried out to him, yet he didn't hear me. Familiar faces were everywhere, yet it was as if I was merely a spot on the wall, for I was completely overlooked. My heart was racing a million miles per minute. My first priority was to aid my comrades, those of the Order that I knew, against my own comrade, a Third Exorcist. It was gruesome, I can tell you that. Never had I ever felt power such as that they possessed.

Yet, as I moved closer to my comrades from the Science Department, I was more attracted to the battle between Kanda and what I would find out to be his best friend from the past. They were evenly matched, both half demons, both unscathed by the marks of blades or claws. The enemy shot towards Kanda, and in a flash he was out of the way. The result was that it flew straight towards me. This whole time I was ignored, but Kanda was there to whisk me out of the way. I was so surprised; I hadn't even known that he had saved me until I was already safely placed back on the ground. He was as fast as lightning, yet as fearsome and gruesome as a rabid animal.

Bright flashes danced across my vision. The battle grew large, and the people became weary; I stood at the same spot, watching the battle with tears streaming down my face, and my heart aching painfully. I felt an ominous presence. With wide eyes I turned to stare into the eyes of pure evil. A dark creature who feeds on the weak, and ravishes in the turmoil of others; I was staring into the eyes of the Millennium Earl. A scream escaped my lips as he reached towards me. The attention of everyone fell on me. There was a scramble as people made to come to my aid, but they would never make it. It was then that a miracle happened.

A large white rope wrapped around the massive form of the millennium Earl. Shock radiated across the rubble as he stumbled and fell before me. The enemy was petrified, but not all of them. Kanda was suddenly attacked; a rigid claw in the chest sent him down instantly. I ignored the root of all evil. I ran from death, back to an even worse death. If he were to die, if another member of my family… if another person I loved left me, I wouldn't know what to do. I knew Allen was there. He had to be; only he could do such a thing to the Earl, yet it had to be overlooked. With a surge of energy that I never had before, I nearly bashed in the skull of the one who attacked Kanda. He collapsed to the ground as I sought to treat Kanda, yet he refused to accept the small amount of treatment I had to give. Before he could leave, I grabbed his hand and begged him. I begged him to come back to me alive, no matter what the cost was…

Then there was an explosion. Just thinking about it caused me to rub my elbow ever so lightly. I gained a faint scar across my elbow. It was where I landed on Kanda's sword after he pushed me to the ground to protect me. And then there appeared the image of what was once a beautiful woman above the enemy. Tears fells from the sockets were her eyes should have been, her skin hung loosely from her bones… It was the one who was inside of the enemy, the poor soul that had been turned into an Akuma. I still don't understand who it was, but it seemed to trigger something in Kanda.

I slowly shook my head. "Kanda, ya saved me. And if I remember correctly, ya weren't exactly pweased t'at I interfered…"

"You saw Alma's soul, didn't you?" I looked up to Kanda with curiosity in my eyes. I slowly nodded my head. "Then you know… Allen was present for this,"

"Yeah," I murmured as I turned away from Kanda. "I knew he whas. I went through the Ark t' get t' the American branch,"

"He opened the Ark for you, incapacitated the Earl… And he opened the Ark again for me," I nodded to Kanda's words, closing my eyes and reliving that moment of my life. Bak sent Fou to my side, and she picked me up and whisked me away to the science Department. There, my cut was treated, and I continued to watch in awe as Kanda switched his target onto the Third Exorcist for a split second. Then a flash of white stretched across the broken sky. My eyes became wide when I saw the gate number… unknown. At first I thought it was calling for me, but as I raised myself from the ground and stared up to the sky, I hesitated. Something in my body told me that it was _not_ meant for me. My chest began to ache. Was I truly so close to Allen, yet so far away? Would I really allow him to escape my grasp so easily?

Reever ordered me to sit down, and as I made to mindlessly obey, something across the way caught my eye. Kanda kneeled down to the ground for a moment, then as he returned into a standing position… I couldn't believe my eyes. In his arms was his enemy, broken, beaten, half of his body missing, and his face covered with fresh tears. Kanda looked up to the unknown gate, and at that moment I understood. Kanda ran at full speed before making the long jump it took to reach the Ark. I heard many people cry out to him just as my team had cried out to me; a vain attempt to care about his safety. Kanda disappeared behind the wall of white, and behind him the Ark shattered into pieces.

"And ya left…" I murmured as I gripped onto his shoulder and pulled myself up. "Ya left, and the gate shattered behind ya. Ever'one was completely speechless… but I think ya were meant to go, weren't ya, Kanda?"

Kanda stared at me for a moment, his face as monotone as it had always been. But something appeared that I had never seen before; a small smirk appeared on his face. "You understand what I am, don't you? The same as Alma; half Akuma, half human. The Order created me, and I was their property. I had no free will," Kanda released a small sigh, running his hand threw his bangs and over his head. "And now I'm back… With my new free will," I couldn't quite tell, but I think Kanda flashed me a genuine smile. Afterwards his face was blank, but looked softer than before. He let out a soft sigh as he gently gripped my wrist and slowly laid me down on the bed. "Go to sleep, Lenalee. You may be intoxicated, and I won't risk saying another word with you tonight,"

"B…but, where did ya go? What happen to Alma?" I spat out the questions as Kanda moved the blanket over me. In a fit of defiance I pushed it away from me. I grabbed Kanda's shirt and made him look me in the eye. "Tell me why ya came back!"

"To keep a promise," Kanda whispered calmly as he gently pushed away my hand and moved the blanket over me. He stood up and walked away from me nonchalantly as I stared at him from the bed. I had been answered, but I wasn't satisfied by it. A pout slowly worked its way across my lips as I glared towards Kanda.

"To who?"

A sigh originated from Kanda's form as he slipped off his black cloak. "Go to sleep, Lenalee. I won't ask nicely next time," I raised an eyebrow at his statement. My mind wrapped around what Kanda said, and the intoxicated part of me found a subject that it enjoyed very much. I couldn't help the giggle that escaped my lips.

"What are ya gonna do, Kanda? Spank me?" Kanda turned to me with wide eyes. Disbelief was apparent on his face, which caused me to giggle more as I crawled out of the blankets and towards the end of the bed. "Do ya believe I am at yer mercy, Yu? Since I'm drunk and all that,"

"Don't call me that," Kanda growled as he threw his cloak on a chair that rested in the corner. "No, I do not believe such. You are more capable than…"

I moved into a crouched position, moving my hips like a cat about to pounce on a mouse. I raised an eyebrow when Kanda's sentence trailed off, and slightly wondered what caused him to cease. I smiled devilishly at the man in front of me. "Aren't ya a strong man, Kanda-san~?"

Kanda twitched noticeably after I spoke. "Wha- what did you call me?"

"Kanda, yer name, and San, which I think means something of high respect for Japanese... Which ya are, right? I could call ya Kun if ya like,"

"Just stop talking and go to sleep," Kanda stomped over to me and pushed me to the front of the bed. I was once again engulfed in giggles as I bounced on the bed and made contact with the sheets.

"Ohh, Kanda-san likes it rough~"

Kanda glared at me as he threw the blanket over me once again. I could see his vein pulsing from his neck. "You don't know what you're talking about,"

"What? I do too! I'm no Virgin, Kanda," I didn't realize what I had disclosed until it was already too late. Kanda stared at me with wide eyes, and I felt a seductive smile crawl over my face. Only one question rested in my mind. "Are you a virgin, Kanda-san?" Kanda was too shocked to move, and just stood next to the bed with complete disbelief on his face. I crawled onto my knees and wrapped my arms around his neck. "What's the matter, cat got your tongue?" I could feel his breath on my lips as I leaned my body against his. "Or is it just me?" My lips crashed onto Kanda's at that moment. I licked my tongue against his lips, begging to be allowed access. I felt his arms wrap around my waist and I moaned at the feeling, only to be shocked to find him pushing me back onto the bed. I gasped when I made contact with the pillows, and stared up to Kanda with shock in my eyes. An annoyed sneer was on his face and his hands were clenched in fists.

"Go. To. Sleep." He ordered as he turned away from me. I glared at him at that moment. I would not be so easily denied. Using the bed as my aid I jumped on his back, catching him off guard.

"Idiot! Ya can't deny me!" Kanda gasped and stumbled forward instantly. He made to grab me and pull me off of him, so I bit his neck. I didn't do it hard, I think, but it certainly took him by surprise. I giggled victoriously. "Never turn yer back on me!" He growled and shook me slightly, causing me to become instantly dizzy. He soon backed up against the bed and I crawled off of him. He turned around, pure anger was on his face and I knew he was about to yell at me. I grabbed his shirt and dragged him onto the bed and on top of me. He still fought against me, so I pulled him closer and whispered into his ear. "Yer so fun, Kanda. I guess that's why I love ya so much," At that moment he froze and didn't dare to move. I giggled as I slowly pressed my lips to his once again. I didn't expect much from him; in fact I thought he would get angry and leave me again. I would've graciously accepted that reality, although I also disclosed some more personal information that I had told no one previously. But this time I felt him kiss me back. I was taken off guard, and I trembled eagerly as he moved his hand along my thigh. I moaned once he placed his other hand on my cheek, feeling the kiss began to deepen. He pulled his lips away from me, and I found that I couldn't breathe. "K-Kanda-san…"

Kanda slid off of my body, sitting on the edge of the bed with his head low. "Don't… call me that," He murmured as he began to rub his neck. I frowned at what I saw before me. Did I cause this? Did I go too far? I shook my head and placed my hand on his knee. Kanda looked to me from the corner of his eye. I couldn't read his face.

"I…" I murmured as I crawled forward and placed my head on his lap again. "I'm sorry, Kanda," I whimpered as I clung to his leg. "I shouldn't have… I mean, I really do… love ya," I heard a sigh above me, and felt his hand run through my hair once again. This familiar action caused my heart to beat erratically. I nervously lifted myself into a sitting position and grabbed Kanda's hand. "Do ya forgive me?"

"No," I flinched from his quick answer. Guilt washed over me further; that is, until Kanda slid off the bed and onto the floor. He continued to hold my hand firmly in his, and he kneeled down in front of me. I blinked at his actions, unsure of what to make of them. Kanda took a deep breath before he spoke. "I've been searching for you ever since I left through the Ark. And I want to protect you, Lenalee. Just as I protected you before, I wish to do that for the rest of time…"

"Kanda…" I murmured, my face flushing a deep crimson red. I had a hunch of what was going on, but my mind was having trouble processing it. I spoke very carefully. "Are you… proposing to me?"

There was a long silence after I spoke, yet it was strange how it didn't feel awkward or uncomfortable. Kanda raised my hand to his lips and kissed it gently, causing me to gasp and turn a darker shade of red. A small smirk appeared on his face. "Take this as you will. If that is what you believe will allow me to protect you the best, then yes. If you believe it is not necessary, than no. I am stating my actions, Lenalee. Whether they are rational or not, I plan to take them seriously,"

"K-kanda! I-I… I don't know what t' say!" I admitted as I looked away from him. Only seconds ago had I felt guilty for trying to force myself onto Kanda, and now he was kinda-sorta proposing to me? It was all too much to take in. How was I to answer him so suddenly? He had only just gotten back, after all. Slowly I shook my head to Kanda. "N..no, Kanda," I muttered as I tried to cover my face with my free hand. "I still care for him… for Allen, I mean. I loved him, Kanda. We almost had everything together… I know he's out there, I know that he'll come back one day. I still have hope. It's only been a year, hasn't it? He could still come back…"

Kanda slowly rose from the ground, never releasing my hand. He held my gaze firmly, never losing eye contact. "That is good to hear," I tilted my head in question, only to be shocked to have Kanda lean down and place a small kiss on my forehead. "You should not lose faith on Allen; I believe he is doing well. He has his own problems, and he is not here with you now. Which means… that I will be your protector,"

The next day we returned to the order…

My face flushed as Kanda sipped the liquefied innocence from the palm of my hand. He stared me right in the eye, and oh so subtlety licked the last drop from the palm of my hand. My knees began to shake as Kanda pulled up his sleeves and allowed his blood to flow freely from his body. "Like I've said before, Lenalee, I'm already free," tears fell from my eyes as Mugen formed into Kanda's hands from the strange, blood red angle. I took ahold of my light blue handkerchief and pressed it against my eyes. "And I have decided for myself to become an Exorcist," At that moment I wrapped my arms around Kanda's side, and cried whole-heartedly into his form. He stood there tensed and unsteady, completely different than what it was like the night before. I didn't care, though. It was no different to me.

It was a few moments after that I heard Komui's voice. "You… you you you you you you… Kanda…. Just now you… you…!" My eyes snapped open from realization and I turned to my brother. I ran to him and held onto his shoulders as I tried to calm him down.

"It's okay, brother! It's fine! He was just getting the innocence, if anything it's my fault-"

"Hey Kanda…" I nearly flinched when I heard Bak Chan behind me. I turned to see him looking skeptically at Kanda, his eyebrow twitching anxiously. "Why do you have a bite mark on your neck?"

"What?" Komui shrieked as my eyes became wide and my face flushed bright red. Kanda instantly slapped his hand over the place I had bitten him the night before. I saw Bak's eyes become wide. That's when I understood. It was a trap to see if Kanda would admit to the mark on his neck, and it worked. Komui noticed my blush and completely lost his head. While the ranting began, I looked to Kanda from the corner of my eye. He seemed to be taking the ranting pretty well, acting as if he had no clue what they were talking about although he looked completely guilty while covering, and refusing to uncover, that place on his neck that I bit him. Luckily for him, that cool look on his face made it almost believable that he had no idea what Bak Chan was talking about. I was being yelled at as well, and I heard both Fou and Marie laughing behind the furious Komui and Bak Chan. My ears picked up more laughter, a very small chuckle originating from Zu. I tilted my head to see the smile on his face, and witnessed a tear fall from his eye.

"Oh, Kanda. Haha," He murmured with another weak chuckle. Fou turned to him once she heard the sound of his voice. He spoke softly to her at that moment. "Fou, please take care of Bak…" Fou gasped at Zu at that moment, startled by his words. I couldn't help the sharp intake of breath that I took. He caught my gaze at that moment, and with a small smile his eyes slowly began to close. "And you… will take care of Kanda for me… won't you?"

Tears fell from my eyes, but I quickly wiped them away before anyone could notice. Though I knew he couldn't see me anymore, I nodded my head solemnly. Kanda raised an eyebrow at me at that moment. On my face appeared a smile, and without another word I wrapped my arms around Kanda's form. This action caused both Bak and Komui to become speechless, and Kanda fidgeted in my grasp. After a moment he accepted this display of affection, and he would have to become used to it. He was going to be hugged by me for a very, very long time.

He was going to keep his promise, he was going to stay at the Order and protect me. And during the time we spend together, he will be mine.

_**/O\**_

Kanda and I entered the training area to catch a pair of Exorcists just leaving. They smiled and greeted me, and with forced smiles also attempted to greet Kanda as well. He ignored them, as per usual, and I laughed nervously as I motioned forward and suggested for us to continue. I made my way across the field and turned to Kanda excitedly. "Ready to train, Fiancé?" I called out, receiving only a glare from Kanda.

"Don't call me that," He growled as he stood across from me. I rolled my eyes with a light giggle.

"Geez, sure are picky with the names. Well, _are_ you ready?" I gained a stern nod in response. A small giggle escaped my lips as I readied myself. "Good, wouldn't want us breaking any promises, do we?" For that statement I received a small smirk from my trusted friend. He drew Mugen from his sheath and held it at the ready.

A subtle breeze blew across my face as I steadied my eyes. The noise around me died down, decreasing into a small murmur that rested casually in the background. I was secure. I was calm. I was concentrated…

And I could thank Kanda for that.


End file.
